Episode one Transcript

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0:00:06 - Speaker 1

H- Hi, my name's Holly 

A- And I'm Amy, and you are listening to You, okay, 

H- with Holly and Amy, 

A- The podcast where we keep you company on long drives and solo dinners, 

H- giving you the girl pals you never knew you needed. 

Hello, amy Trigg. 

A- Hello, holly Hosler White. 

H- Amy Trigg, yes, are you okay? 

A- Yeah, i am. I had a productive morning. 

So I've spent the last year not really working out well, no, this year 2023, not really working out because of boring health things. But today I got back on the cycling machine for the first time in a while.

H- literally back on the saddle

A- literally. 

H- You did make that joke earlier. I'm not going to steal that from you. 

A- No, but I'm glad you... I'd forgotten about it, so thank you for bringing it back. And then I did like like a cardio and core workout and I feel I feel good. I feel good, Holly, i feel good. 

H- That's amazing 

A- What's released when you work out?

H- Endorphins 

A- Yeah. 

H- the dolphins. 

A - They're a Surging, Holly. I feel very happy. 

H- There's a school of them. Them dolphins.

A- so I'm going to like make sure I carry on, because it makes my body feel happy. 

H- That's how I feel after doing yoga. 

A- Yoga's good. I should probably yeah, maybe I should do a bit more of that. 

H- This might seem like a mean question to anyone that isn't as close with you as I am. 

A- Oh yeah?

H- How would you do yoga? 

A- Oh, yeah, i should probably mention this, shouldn't I? 

H- This is really good, we'll get this in early. 

A- So I Amy Trigg, drum roll please. Am a wheelchair user. It always feels so awkward to mention it when it's like audio things. Yeah, so, yeah, so that's the yeah. 

H- I mean, if you saw her, you wouldn't know. 

A- I don't see your wheelchair, do you not? But I have done yoga. I've done yoga

H- just top half

A- yeah, and I'm quite I was going to say I'm quite stretchy. 

H- I think that's what I've heard on the streets. 

A- I think that's probably the joy of not being able to feel the bottom half of your body. You can just kind of like go into the splits and be like, well, here we are, 

H- Chuck it around If I've torn something, i don't know. 

A- Yeah, Love it. Enough about me, Holly, Are you okay? 

H - Amy told me off earlier. 

A- I did. 

H- Amy never, ever tells me off. She only ever... tell a lie. She told me off on Saturday. She told me off on Saturday because I said something about being negative And then she, just she. It was so sincere And I find it really difficult not to giggle when Amy's being sincere as well And I know it's from like the deepest of heartbreak places. But she went to me. Holly, if I could wish one thing for you, it would be for you to stop being so hard on yourself. 

A- And I meant it. 

H- I know you did. I know because she was sincere. But she told me off earlier because I keep saying sorry, you do. 

A- You said it loads, like in the last week. 

H- I know It's really funny. I think it's just I don't know. When I was in therapy I really she used to really tell me off that And my mum tells me off for it a lot, but I think it's just it's. I don't know. I don't know what the deep meaningfulness is, but I think if I'm in a bit of a low ebb not that I massively am, but I do say sorry a lot And when I'm stressed I say sorry a lot. And I've had a bit of a stressful week with just things coming back and like like job stuff and not COVID, but like things coming back to me, like hearing from things and whatnot. So I think I just I'm there like I don't want to be a bother. 

A- No, i get it, cause I'm like it's, it's when you got a lot up in the air and things like that And you're not sure. And yeah, i'm, i'm a bit of a sorry sayer too.

H- but what a good friend, guys. Right, She only ever tells me off when I'm being negative And she never tells me off for ringing her drunk. 

A- I never tell you off for that, but I do tell you off every now and then. And then sometimes I'm just like Holly, yeah.

H- like it's, what do we? we, when we're messaging, we'll be there like can I be harsh Holly or harsh Amy for a moment? And neither of us ever say no, because genuinely we love the harsh versions of each other. 

A- You need that from a friend. 

H- You do. 

A- That's what's important in friendship. Otherwise it's all lies.

H- wow, or you're just not that close. 

A- That as well. 

H- So I keep saying sorry and I'm sorry for it. 

A- Good, no, bad, oh, no. 

HAPPY BOUNCY MUSIC

H- So I found a, I found a Buzzfeed article. This article is called she had an extensive collection of Nazi paraphernalia and 27 of her red flags that make people immediately know out of a new relationship. But what I want to know is, are these red flags or are they just icks? 

A- Oh, so that's that, i've got to decide if it's a red flag. I mean you've said Nazi paraphernalia, so I'm going to go down the red flag route. But okay, let's carry on Some of them. 

H- Yeah, i mean, that's, that's intense. So I'm not going to read 28 reasons, i'm not going to read you 28 reasons, but I'm going to pick a mix of them... like Woolworths. 

A- I loved Woolworths. I accidentally stole a mizz magazine from all words once, but I took it back. I realized when I realized I am, i went back and I was so sorry. 

H- She's 22 at the time.

HAPPY BOUNCY MUSIC

H- A really lovely woman telling me in a sincere voice that she loved me. Three to four hours after meeting, her Freak me the fuck out in a way that I could guess would reasonably be described as the Ick. 

A- Three to four hours, 

H- hours after meeting. 

A- Now, this is tricky, isn't it? Because we've said before wouldn't it be nice just meet someone and you know, like, like a romcom? 

H- Yeah

A- it just save a lot of time, a lot of hassle. It also save a lot of money on dates. Do you know what I mean? So the practical Amy is saying great, great, 

H- I love you, do you love me? 

A- But I do think it's more red flag territory because if he's not feeling it, then they're obviously not vibing as the kids say. 

H- They're not compatible as the other ones say Yeah, okay, trying to talk into a younger audience. 

A- I would say it's a little bit of red flag, clearly not on the same page. But it also depends how long they've been speaking before they've met, because you have people that have, like, spoken for months and they fall in love about even meeting Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. You've got mail 

H- on the other side of the coin, catfish. 

A- Yes, 

H- I'm just saying Yeah, no, yeah, i think the connection things. Right, you're not, you're not. You've not read the room there, babe, have you? Because this does go on. 

In no way was the statement couched either, just straight up I love you. Think I responded No, you don't. 

A- Oh, that must have hurt

H- No, but right, imagine someone saying that to you. You've given no, like, no feeling for that whatsoever. There was no reason that they should say that to you. You got to shut that down because they could be dangerous. 

A- Better for everyone involved. 

H- Yeah, no, you don't, 

A- Because if I got a bit carried away and said to someone I love you and they didn't. I'd need them to be blunt with me. I don't think I'll ever get to that point, but yeah, i'd need. I think the bluntness is a kindness. 

H- I also just reminded me of that guy that I dated and didn't date. I went on two dates with him. 

A- Well, it depends who you ask. If you ask him, you were practically engaged. 

H- I went on two dates with him and let him down gently via text, but I had said to him in person as well 

A- Yeah, you had 

H- I had to reiterate via text, and he thought I was the one 

A- And I feel really bad because he obviously really liked you And I think there is someone out there for everyone.

A- No we're not, we're not like trash and him already 

H- No, not at all. he just loves love. Not feeling that, not getting that. How are you not picking up on that. 

A- Yeah, not getting your vibe, especially with that situation with you and this guy, because it's a red flag when people don't listen to you, when you're being really clear. 

H- Thank you

A- because you've gone out your way to be clear And sometimes that's hard to do. So when you do it, it has to be respected. 

H- Yeah, listen to me If I say I don't fancy you, it's because they don't 

A- Gosh. I don't know. I don't know what to do if someone actually turn around to me. So bluntly I went I don't fancy you. I think I'd melt and cry on the floor. 

H- I once, really drunk, I turned around to someone I was like just say you don't fancy me, it's fine, Luckily he didn't say that He didn't turn around and go I don't fancy you. But honestly I think if he had, i would be half the woman I am today. 

A- be calling me like Amyyyyy, right. 

H- Yeah, okay. So we're saying red flag?

A- red flag. 

H- Now, this guy sounds like someone you would date.

A- oh, hello, 

H- until it sounds like someone you wouldn't date, 

A- oh, right, 

H- so I'll tell me when you would stop dating this man. 

A- Okay

H- Went on a date with a guy I met at a party 

A- Yeah, nice way to meet

H- He made me prove that I liked Lord of the Rings by answering who said what when he quoted someone.

A- We all have a hobby. 

H- Sounds like such a game you would come up with. 

A- Yeah, i've been on a long journey and you'll be like right, so, yeah, i'll be dating. 

H- Yeah, i know you will. 

So, this is where I think maybe it's going to go a bit wrong. He pulled out a notebook of really poorly drawn anime characters and asked if he could draw me. 

A- Hmm, now I'd feel self-conscious. Yeah, but we're at a party, right? 

H- No, no, no, this is on the date. 

A- Oh, i don't know how I'd feel about it, but I'd probably go along because I'd feel awkward about getting out of it. So I'd still, i'd continue, but I'd be on. I'd be on eggshells, yeah, yeah. 

H- Yeah, he was a lot shorter than me.

A- That doesn't bother me at all. You know that. 

H- Yeah, but you're sat down.

A- Yeah, but even if I was stood up, 

H- it's a hard life out here for a tall girl. Yeah, okay, five seven, 

A- four foot eleven,

H- exactly, 

A- and I'm sat down most of the time. The thing is, holly, you have a very firm type of person that you go for, 

H- but I don't think I do. 

A- That's an absolute lie. 

H- I think, as I've got older, i have honed my type. 

A- Yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah, i'll take that And I don't think that's a bad thing. However, for me, i'm all over the place. Come one, come all Like 

H- name of your sex tape. 

A- But yeah, i don't have a type. I don't think I do, just someone nice who can make me laugh And but looks wise, as long as they're clean

H- that's very true, you do like a clean man, 

A- good hygiene, right? 

H- So he was shorter than me and asked if it bothered him, if it bothered me. I said no, and then he said good, i like Amazonian goddesses. 

A- Oh, okay, so I wouldn't find myself in that situation, clearly, because we've already established on 4th, 11 and going to heaven

H- does that mean I'm 5th, 7th and going to heaven, 

A- I guess? so, yeah, see you there. 

H- Oh, my God, squad goals.

A- Yeah, okay, there's a few alarm bells. I don't think this is a red flag, though, just an ick.

H- he kept trying to put his jewellery on me, despite my protests. 

A- Bit weird, bit odd, but again, it's not a red flag 

H- That gives me. Oh well, we have to see each other again because you've got my ring. 

A- Oh, yeah, that's it. That's a play.

H- That's a play. That's a leave your jumper at the Yeah, 

A - yeah, no, it's an ick. If, i really wanted that jewellery Then. 

H- Would you ever see him again? I'm just like 

A- no, because I'm going to be like yah. Oh my God, no, i'm not a thief. 

H- Okay, so it's an ick. You literally just said that you stole a Mizz magazine. 

A- I took it back. 

H- Yeah, i don't care, you still got the thrill of it. 

A- I did, it was a buzz. It's all about the thrill. 

H- This feels like a control thing. He asked what I wanted to order for food, then ignored me and ordered me something else and got frustrated when I didn't eat it all. 

A- Absolutely not. Red flag, red flag Going out the door. 

H- Yeah, don't like that. This is where all hell breaks loose. In the story. He referenced, being arrested, made me guess what for, and when I refused to guess, he said G-B-H. 

A- Oh no, now, there's nothing wrong with having a past. Lots of people have a past. Lots of people move on. The problem there is that he made her guess Like that's a bad thing to do with your age, let alone guess what I got arrested for, 

H- because as well you'll go for something like oh, i don't know You were protesting that, i don't know you were. I'm trying to think,

A- you can do it. You can do it. Come on, Holly.

H- you were protesting an anti-gay rally, 

A- yeah, yeah, see

H- And you'd be like, oh, amazing, great. Or I was just having too much fun at Pride

A- yeah, or I was just a bit silly when I was younger.

H- Yeah, yeah, i did a wee and was drunk and shouted at police officer. 

A- We've all been there. No, i haven't.

H- that's Amy's past there. 

A- Okay, yeah, the G-B-H needs some explanation. But again, maybe he was beating up a racist homophobe. I don't know, i'm trying to see the good of people. it's a little bit of a yeah

H- but you wouldn't start with that, would you? 

A- Probably not? 

H- You wouldn't be there like no Grievous, bodily harm. 

A- Good guess though, lol, nearly Oh, yeah, okay, 

H- it goes on. This bit isn't? I just kicked Amy under the table. They realised 

A- I didn't feel it. 

H- No, yeah, good, no, i didn't. I'm not even gonna apologise. No buzzword from me. It carries on. This bit is the bit that isn't in bold, it's in regular form. So there's just so much to it that they've had to do like an extra. This is the subtitle. 

When I said I wanted to leave. He got my knee high boots, slipped them onto my feet, zipped them up and said - gonna lean in - You should always be treated like a goddess, my Morticia Adams. 

A- See, that's not a red flag, that's just an ick, though, isn't it? That last bit? that would be. 

H- I hope she looked like Morticia Adams

A- well, if not, it was a bit strange. 

H- I was just like saying that to me, or you

A- I'd be there, like. I'd be like oh, i'm so edgy, 

H- I don't think I do look like Morticia Adams. I think I look like Lorde in 2014. 

A- yeah, that's a little bit of a strange, right? 

H- so is that that date is that ick or red flag? Would you come out of that and be like he is a red flag, 

A- mostly an ick with a sprinkling and a red flag? 

H- The GBH?

A- Yeah, that scene. 

H- That's not funny. 

A- I need to know more information. 

H- You know, we're desperate. We're there like well, it's only one Grievous Bodily harm.

A- Huh, i'm just saying people change. and I would probably not recommend them to a friend. 

Uh-huh, put it that way. 

H- Would you see them again? 

A- Probably not. No, very good, don't think we're compatible. 

H- No, you think He clearly can't see properly, because you think she looked like Morticia Adams

A- And I'm an Amazonian goddess. 

H- Yes, well

Found out, the reason he rented the house next door to his parents was so his mum would make his meals and wash his clothes. Had the audacity to say let me call my mum when I mentioned I was a little hungry. 

A- Oh, 

H- just imagine, are you 14 years old? 

A- I like that. I like that he's close to his parents. 

H- Love that

A- I do like that in proximity and, you know, in emotions. However, just put some toast in the toaster. 

H- Wait, not even that. Like buy some turkey dinosaurs, you've got a whole house. What is the point in you not living Like, why don't you just live at home? 

A- You know what that man needs. What An air fryer. 

H- Oh, my goodness, you're so old. 

A- That's right. 

H- That's also true. 

A- Yeah, you'd never see his parents again. Oh, oh, no, he's still got to do his washing. 

H- Do it in the air fryer

A- and you never know the situation He might not have. Like a I don't know, does he have a washing machine. I mean, i think I require too many details for his clothes, you do? 

H- He could go around their house and use the washing machine.

A- Yeah, yeah, it's a bit of a I think it's a bit of a red flag, mainly for the food thing, with her being like, oh, i'm a bit peckish, and him saying, oh, because that's also like treating your mum like a maid. 

H- That's not cool. Yeah, they're like, that's the same, as you know, like in Downton Abbey or Upstairs, downstairs or something, when they ring a bell and then the bell rings in the downstairs in like the. What would you call it? is that the larder? No, i don't know The downstairs, it's the modern equivalent. You ring your phone and your mum answers and it's like okay, darling, yeah.

A- it's a red flag. 

(Happy Bouncy Music)

H- Grabed me by the face on the first date, stroked under my eyes and said you need to take better care of yourself.

A- Oh, there's a red flag

H- sir, i'm a divorced, 37 year old, with kids. Those under eye circles were passed down from my grandmother, they are a family heirloom. And to get your hands off my face, we just met. This is not a Nicholas Sparks movie. 

A- Yeah, that's a red flag touching someone's face on the first date, just in general. 

I mean, we basically touched cheeks, face, cheek, i didn't know why. 

H- We didn't have a moon landing. 

A- I've never heard that before but it's funny. But we were very close taking a photo and it was a bit much. 

H- Yeah, it was like I didn't like that, Yeah, i think it's because I mentioned it. If I hadn't mentioned it.

A- No, I was already thinking it. 

H- Yeah, okay

A- yeah, that's a red flag. Yeah, i don't like that. 

H- Someone on the night out once he was like a friend of a friend And he held my face and went kiss me. I won't tell like the name of the guy that I was dating at the time. I literally was there like no, but I will... he held my face.

A- I don't like it. You know, when you say normally men, but not always grab like someone's head or neck and it's like pulling them in and it's very forceful. It's things like that. 

H- I hate that. It's very red flaggy for me. Like, even in a consensual situation, it, i don't know, 

A- maybe some people probably like it. Oh, and the other thing about that one before I forget Yeah, and it's that thing, isn't it Of when you comment on someone's appearance. Comment on things that they can change immediately, like if they've got spinach in their teeth or I don't know. Their eye makeup it's smudged, little things like that. 

H- Mine No, i think mine is. 

A- Yours is ok. 

H- Yeah, a little tiny bit. 

A- Thanks for mentioning it. 

H- I hadn't looked properly. I'm not very good at eye contact. 

A- I'm so hot It is warm in here And then. But yeah, don't mention things that someone can't change. So that's a red flag. Yeah, red flag, red flag. 

H- She had an extensive collection of Nazi paraphernalia. She said she was just interested in the history but only had Nazi shit. That's a nine from me. 

A- That's huge red flag, massive. 

H- Yeah, i was at like an antiques fair the other week and there was a halt because I am middle class And I. There was someone who had a store that was all Nazi stuff and I was just there like it's weird, shouldn't sell it. Shouldn't sell that stuff. It's from like a weird period in time. It should be kept in archives. It should be kept in in, i think they said, cinemas, museums, just yeah, that shouldn't be available to buy. 

(Bouncy music)

H- In college I was seeing a girl who lived in student residence with me, but on another floor She would always talk about how another guy, tom on her floor, was obsessed with her and would show me texts between them. She said she only talked to him because he's harmless and that they're friends. I never met him. After a week, her ex-friend from high school pulled me aside and told me not to trust her. She said that the girl I was seeing was a notorious liar and that Tom didn't exist. 

A- Wow, plot twist, it's like beautiful minds. 

H- But she added her own number in her phone as Tom would text herself and then delete the messages. 

A- I love it. I mean, it's one way to like be like. Oh my gosh, i'm like. I can't get them away. I can't stop them. I changed my name. Every week. We have another guy. 

H- Oh God, i got rid of Tom and now Tim's here. 

The only reason her ex-friend knew is because she saw the text message exchange happen in the reflection of a mirror when they were in the same room. Oh, lucky mistake. I was close with front desk and asked if they could look up the names from that floor. They said yes and told me that there was no guy named Tom named Tom on that floor. I noped out of that real quick. Yeah, yeah, that's the red flag. That's like The red flag 

H- Bit Bunny boiler. Like I hate to use that term Like, imagine dating someone and then they're like, god, you wouldn't believe it I just got a text from another man or another woman.

A- Yeah, you'd be there like, are you okay? 

H- I'll just go fuck myself. Then, 

A- yeah, i'd feel sad. 

H-Oh God, see, don't do that to people, don't do that to Amy, 

A - don't do that

H- don't do that to Amy. Do you remember the threat I said that I'd give to the next person that you date? I'm like

A- no, what are you gonna do? 

H- Turn around and I said I'd say I'd go up to them. I'd be like in a public event with them, in a bar, and Amy would go for a wee and leave me alone with them And I'd go. You seem nice, but just so you know, if you ever hurt her, i will come into your house at night. 

A- Jesus, 

H- I'll kill you. I think it's the at night thing.

A- Aright, liam Neeson.

H- I know I have a very particular set of skills, or the other one I like, just so you know, i'll be at the wedding but you might not be. 

A- Oh crikey

H- that doesn't mean I'm gonna kill them, 

A- Intense

H- jlike one day Amy's gone, get married if she wants to.

A- Please don't scare them off. 

H- I won't scare them off

A- if I had managed to get them to a public event, i'd really appreciate some support in getting them to stick around, cause truly it takes a lot of work. 

H- Okay, fine, i'll wait till you go to the loo and then I'll go. Please don't leave, then I'll be stuck with her again. 

A- She needs this. Okay, i trust you to protect me. 

H- I would always protect you, apart from that time. A bike. So I called out her tonight. I jumped behind you. 

A- Yeah, i haven't forgotten that. 

H- I still stand to this day that you put yourself between me and the bike. 

A- You used me as a human shield. And actually I get it 

H- It was wheels on wheels. 

A- Yeah, like I'm half metal, so I was gonna protect you. It's better that way around. So for future reference, do it. 

H- You make it sound like the chair is fused. 

A- Maybe it is. You know my secret. 

H- Yes, i do.

(bouncy music)

H- Oh, no, this one now. I just think this is an Ick right. 

A- You have such a lovely smile, holly. 

H- Aww, thanks

A- carry on. 

H- I think this is just an Ick right, because I think I'd find this really funny. 

Okay, we were driving and they thought it would be funny to scream out the window and try and terrify a passing cyclist. 

A- Aww, that's mean. 

H- Imagine someone you fancy, right, they're driving you somewhere and they just randomly, out of nowhere, roll the window down and scream. 

A- I don't think I'd know how, i don't think I'd laugh. I think I'd probably just be like what just happened? It would take me a moment. Yeah, in the moment 

H- I think I'd be there like what the fuck did you just do? But then I feel like later that evening, when you're eating dinner, you'd be there like what was that? 

A- Yeah, you'd laugh at it later. Also, i'd assume that they knew the person that they were trying to scare and I think it would be that conversation. I'd be like oh, who was that? And they were like nobody And I'd be like, oh.

H- As well. I think if they did it once, it's funny, but if it's like something that they do, i'd be there like that's weird, just a bit much. It's like you wanna give someone a heart attack. That's when it's a red flag. 

(Bouncy music)

H- So that's all of them. That's all my...

A- I enjoyed that. 

H- Did you like it? 

A- I enjoyed deciding. Yeah, because we talk about icks and We have very different icks. Yeah, i don't have too many, which is probably an issue. 

H- Yeah, but I have too many, so that's an issue. 

A-Yeah, it's interesting. I'd like to know people's icks and red flags. 

H- Oh, yeah, if you've got icks and red flags, drop them to us. Send us something on Instagram. Our Instagram is @youokaywithhollyandamy. We also do put up those anonymous things on the story. So if you don't wanna tell us what your red flag is and we know who you are. Then you can drop it in there. Just wait for that to pop up. 

A-But do you send us your questions? 

H- Yeah, send us your Icks and red flags questions. 

A- Comments concerns 

H-Love it. We'll put them in an episode. We won't say your name. If you don't want us to

A- yeah, talk to us. We have no one else. 

H- We are the Agony Aunts You'd never asked for Yeah And we're always here. 

A- Oh, my goodness

H- just sat at Amy's kitchen table, right, love you bye.

A- Love you bye. 

Transcribed by https://podium.page